Please burn this Trax with fire. Signed, Burt Reynolds

Mecum

An open letter to the buyer of Mecum Auctions Las Vegas Lot 104, the 2024 Chevrolet Trax Bandit Outlaw Edition:

Sorry, but we really can’t be friends anymore.

We tolerated you wearing lampshades for hats, insisting that American Idol singer William Hung was “pretty darn underrated,” and for saying that you like your sauerkraut “the sauerer the better, ha ha ha!

But we must draw the line at your new Chevrolet Trax Bandit Outlaw Edition. If our feet were severed in a horrible accident, we’d turn down a ride to the hospital in your car; we’d just hobble there on our bloody stumps. If Sally Field (she’s still alive, correct?) beckoned from the back seat, we’d just wave her on by. If Kim Kardashian was driving—well, we’d say that’s about right.

Chevrolet Trax Bandit Edition front
Mecum

Really, what were you thinking? That “no reserve” was in reference to your will power?

And what was the creator thinking? That it would be funny to make a Smokey and the Bandit tribute out of a 1.2-liter, three-cylinder, Korean-built SUV? That it would be ironic? A commentary on our petroleum-dependent society? That you could flip it for a profit? Or just flip it, period? We’d like to ask the builder, who appears to have signed his or her name on the one-of-one certificate that came with the car as Srgspae, but we have had zero luck in locating a customizer by that name.

Chevrolet Trax Bandit Edition interior seats
Mecum

Don’t you see the problem, dude? There’s no CB radio. 10-4?

Sad.

Sincerely,

Everybody

 

***

 

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Comments

    IT’S WHAT MAKES ANY CERTAIN AUTO OWNER HAPPY…….I THOUGHT I HAD HEARD THIS MANY TIMES BEFORE.

    WHY THE EXCEPTION ON THIS ONE?

    The VERY sad thing aboot this is… it’s probably gonna do similar or faster lap times at ________________________ (your favourite road course) as the SatB Firechickens.
    Yes, it’s FUGLY and the snailman above is WAY wrong in attempting to encourage the poor, blind soul that dreamed up and then built this horror show.

    I actually bought a new TA and ordered it without the stripes and the Screaming Chicken decal. Now someone wants to sell a 1.3 liter 3-cylinder Trax with that garbage on it. At least the TA without the garish stuff stuck all over it, was a real car with power and handling.

    If you could buy this significantly below MSRP you could remove the screaming chicken and outlaw decals and have yourself a new trax at a decent price. I certainly would not pay sticker for this creation. However, I have seen other cars that I thought were awful bring a premium price. Somebody will think this is wonderful. And, yes, Sally Field is still alive, and still looking good for her age.

    OMG. I don’t know whether to laugh or scream in horror.
    This is one vehicle that should be stored in a garage and never driven.

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