Our Two Cents: Our wish list for Santa

’Round these parts of Hagerty Media, we make a lot of inside-baseball jokes about automotive journalists and their, ahem, behavioral quirks outside of what the reading public may see once reviews are published.

There was a time when perks from auto manufacturers were vulgar and excessive; it was like Christmas whenever a new model came out and OEMs sought “our” approval. Maybe that’s still true for some, but we still look forward to gifts from Santa because [insert OEM name here] doesn’t stuff a sleigh fulla holiday merriment on our behalves.

Which begs the question: What’s on our wish lists to Santa?

Winter tires

Hagerty’s senior manager of content, Joe DeMatio, is both pragmatic and optimistic when he asks for “a set of Bridgestone Blizzaks for our 2015 Jeep Wrangler” and “a paint job for our 1977 Lancia Scorpion.” The tires were brought by Santa a bit early, so Joe just wants some snow: Then he’ll have ample reason to exercise the replacements for the “same tire that we used the past eight winters.”

What’s harder to fit in a chimney, mounting/balancing tire machines, or a full paint booth? Using either will wake up the kids from their slumber, but it never hurts to dream a little dream.

Finish my restoration

John Mayhead, the editor of Hagerty’s U.K. price guide, has a similar request for Santa. He wants to get his Porsche 912 roadworthy, post haste. As he said, “it’s been a five-year restoration and I just want to drive it.” We’re watching to see if you’ll come through with the goods for this one, Santa.

I’ve been very good, I promise

Senior editor Eddy Eckart is reaching for the stars with his list for Santa. Go big or go home, right?

1. A Silver Flare Metallic Corvette C8 Z06. (Gee, I wonder why?)
2. A respray for my Volvo 850’s hood and front bumper.
3. Cabinets and tool storage for my work stall.
4. Some sort of data-acquisition system for the kart and race car.

Unobtainum, please!

Did our editor-at-large Aaron Robinson create a list that even Santa can’t wish into reality? You be the judge:

1. A new gasket for any British car that doesn’t start leaking five minutes after it’s installed.
2. A new old stock (NOS) Lamborghini Espada distributor cap and rotor.
3. More time to work on cars.

A picture is worth a thousand words, right?

Cameron Neveu, our motorsports editor and photographer, gave us a simple yet plausible request that Santa could easily respect and honor. Well, until I saw how much one of these beasts will set him back, but that’s between Santa and Cam: His request is clearly coming from the right place.

Dear Santa,

I would like a Canon EOS-1D X Mark III camera body. The rig can shoot 16 frames-per-second with a decent file size. Perfect for photographing fast cars. While you’re at it, please fit the body with a 600mm f/4 lens. I want to take pictures of the moon.

Sincerely,
Cam

Spokes & Vogues (x4)

I, Sajeev Mehta, tend to live and die by whatever car parts I need at the time. Or by whatever NOS/junkyard bits may surface online at a particular moment. So I genuinely feel that Santa needn’t try to get me anything I really need, because I have everything the universe can possibly bestow.

Or not, because I’ve always wanted a set of Texan Wire Wheels with Vogue tires for occasional use on my neoclassic luxury machines—but only in the original 15-inch, short hub design replicating the original Cragar wire wheel of the early 1980s. I checked some online classifieds and I think Santa can easily “swang” a set of these for me at a reasonable price, with enough cash for quality billet aluminum hub-adapters to get them installed on my non-GM vehicles.

A modest racing proposal

Sometimes the line to see Santa at public spaces can be disturbingly long. Brevity is paramount when that happens, as this line isn’t getting any shorter! Our VP of Hagerty Media, Larry Webster, has one simple request: Crosskart.

(Regarding lines for Santa, consider a pro-tip from yours truly: If you live near a big city, forget the Mall Santas and instead seek a franchised car dealership with Santa as part of its weekend promotional plans. Get on the dealer’s e-mail distribution list and join the festivities, so you can enjoy that new-car smell instead of the hustle and bustle of shopping malls!)

Swayin’ in the sleigh

Executive editor Eric Weiner makes it easy for Santa, as he’s already chosen the perfect vehicle (Volvo V60 Polestar) for 99 percent of his needs. The only thing he wants to make it excel is an “aftermarket rear sway bar.” And just to speed things up for Santa, perhaps this is the one he needs to add to the online cart sleigh?

A pop-up surprise?

Hagerty’s Special Projects Editor, Steven Cole Smith, made it easy for us. Not necessarily for Santa, because our esteemed editor wants his “80-year-old mother-in-law’s C5 Corvette” for Christmas Day. To make things more complicated, this is “unlikely to ever happen, as she’s healthier than I am.”

Listen up, Race Santa

Editor Kyle Smith has a short wish list for Santa. Truth be told, it’s 100 percent on-brand with Kyle’s passion and that will clearly curry favor with the esteemed Mister Claus.

1. A check large enough to cover entry fees for three to four race weekends next year. (I’ll cover the travel cost if Santa can cover race fees.)
2. A new set of ratchets: High quality, USA-made 1/4-, 3/8-, and 1/2-inch drive, please.
3. A fire extinguisher: The non-dry chemical kind is more than I want to spend but I hate being scared to use my ABC bottle because I know it will cause corrosion if used … and I shouldn’t be scared to use my fire bottle!

Used-car nirvana?

Bryan Gerould, our layout editor, comes in strong with one sentiment we’ve all shared when looking for another vehicle: asking Santa to “plummet the used car market.” Is that too cynical for the holidays? I think not: Even Santa knows that business is business.

A shocking request (x4)

Hagerty’s managing editor Stefan Lombard makes it easy with specific car parts. How could Santa say no to such a modest yet valuable request for an improved suspension?

Dear Santa, I’d love four new Bilstein 5200s, a new rear leaf-pack, and revolver shackles. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Don’t get gritty

To all our readers in the salty parts of North America during the holidays, just remember that Hagerty UK also feels your pain. To wit, James Mills, our UK editor, asks Santa for a modest request for all motorheads living in Blighty: “a mild Christmas so the gritters don’t come out—and we can keep playing with our cars.”

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