Our Two Cents: Cars we would kill, if we could

Welcome to this week’s episode of Our Two Cents, a series where we ask the staff here at Hagerty Media random questions about automobiles. Our folks spend far too much time every day thinking about cars, so it’s only fair to ask them the following question: What car would you kill and why?

Our answers are just as diverse as our interests, so have a look!

Don’t cross over

I would kill every single egg-shaped “crossover” vehicle simply because they’re hideous (see: Buick Encore). Do I need to expand on this? I feel like everyone should agree with this. They’re ugly as sin and shouldn’t exist. — Ben Woodworth

Toyota Prius, etc.

Any Prius before the latest version, and I’d also nominate the Smart car. Oh, and can I also throw those pedal-powered jitney bus/bicycle bar contraptions onto the fire? They go a whopping 5 mph on Woodward Avenue in Detroit, blocking traffic on a Sunday afternoon with a bunch of suburbanites hootin’ and hollerin’. — Todd Kraemer

Make like a tree and leaf

Nissan Leaf. The first one had such an opportunity to make a splash but was instead the ugliest car of the 21st century. The name is too stained by that mistake and should go away. — Larry Webster

Dropping the droptop

I vote for the last Chrysler Sebring convertible. Once I leaned over to use the lever to move the passenger seat back, and the entire seat bottom came away in my hand. Which is okay in a Boeing 737, but not a psuedo-luxe convertible. — Steven Cole Smith

Flamed out on flame surfacing

In an alternate universe, the 2002–2005 BMW 7 series (E65) woulda ended life as nothing more than a clay model. If so, the Bangle butt and that expensive-to-make (yet dumpy-looking) interior would have never let BMW slide into the convoluted, complex, and borderline offensive BMWs we see today. — Sajeev Mehta

No Eco, no Sport … no thanks!

Ford EcoSport. It’s basically a Ford Fiesta on stilts that costs many thousands more but has the same unpleasant interior. It’s just a hateful little crossover that was as uncompetitive as it was unattractive. It was more ponderous than the tight-handling Fiesta, but the real gut-punch was that the EcoSport arrived right around the time Ford said it would kill all non-SUV cars except the Mustang. — Eric Weiner

You are not us?

I was going to say the Ford EcoSport, but it looks like that one has been spoken for. (Put me down as seconding that motion, however.) So instead, I’ll turn my attention to the Lamborghini Urus. I don’t really care that it’s become the brand’s best-selling vehicle basically overnight. I don’t care that it’s a cash machine. I don’t care that Porsche was the first of those holdout sports-car marques to worship at the SUV altar. Porsche is German, which means logic reigns supreme. Of course there was going to be an SUV.

Lamborghini? It’s Italian. (This is the part where you guys “WELL ACKSHUALLY” me about the VW Group’s ownership and the parts sharing. Save it—I’m on a roll here.)

The whole brand is emotion and sex and things worried parents try to pray away. It’s crass, joyous, spiteful defiance of logic and reservation. The Urus feels like none of that. — Nathan Petroelje

Fry the oil-burner

This is such a fun game of the “butterfly effect” for me: I’ll think of one car that I would love to smite and, just a second later, realize that without that car we wouldn’t have something else. I thought of at least three despicable models that had positive implications in the marketplace. That said, I wish all the 1978–85 GM diesel cars never happened.

Those cars and the stories that spiraled from them put a bad taste in the mouths of so consumers when it came to diesel engines—a bad taste that was largely undeserved. If buyers would have received diesel cars that functioned properly and were actually thought-through, I think history would have changed. For good or bad I don’t know, but it’s hard to argue things wouldn’t have taken a different path. — Kyle Smith

Adios, Tin Lizzie

Channeling my inner Loki, I’d adopt the “agent of chaos” role for this scenario and I’d kill the Ford Model T. It would be interesting to see what the automotive landscape would look like today in its absence. — Stefan Lombard

Kill every icon!

Ooooh … if we’re doing chaos theory, let’s also kill the Tucker (no safety innovations), the Beetle (no VW or Porsche), the Mustang (no pony car wars), and the GTO (no muscle cars). Maybe the Corolla (no foreign cars made in the U.S.)? — Todd Kraemer

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