Our Two Cents: Cars we would kill, if we could
Welcome to this week’s episode of Our Two Cents, a series where we ask the staff here at Hagerty Media random questions about automobiles. Our folks spend far too much time every day thinking about cars, so it’s only fair to ask them the following question: What car would you kill and why?
Our answers are just as diverse as our interests, so have a look!
Don’t cross over
I would kill every single egg-shaped “crossover” vehicle simply because they’re hideous (see: Buick Encore). Do I need to expand on this? I feel like everyone should agree with this. They’re ugly as sin and shouldn’t exist. — Ben Woodworth
Toyota Prius, etc.
Any Prius before the latest version, and I’d also nominate the Smart car. Oh, and can I also throw those pedal-powered jitney bus/bicycle bar contraptions onto the fire? They go a whopping 5 mph on Woodward Avenue in Detroit, blocking traffic on a Sunday afternoon with a bunch of suburbanites hootin’ and hollerin’. — Todd Kraemer
Make like a tree and leaf
Nissan Leaf. The first one had such an opportunity to make a splash but was instead the ugliest car of the 21st century. The name is too stained by that mistake and should go away. — Larry Webster
Dropping the droptop
I vote for the last Chrysler Sebring convertible. Once I leaned over to use the lever to move the passenger seat back, and the entire seat bottom came away in my hand. Which is okay in a Boeing 737, but not a psuedo-luxe convertible. — Steven Cole Smith
Flamed out on flame surfacing
In an alternate universe, the 2002–2005 BMW 7 series (E65) woulda ended life as nothing more than a clay model. If so, the Bangle butt and that expensive-to-make (yet dumpy-looking) interior would have never let BMW slide into the convoluted, complex, and borderline offensive BMWs we see today. — Sajeev Mehta
No Eco, no Sport … no thanks!
Ford EcoSport. It’s basically a Ford Fiesta on stilts that costs many thousands more but has the same unpleasant interior. It’s just a hateful little crossover that was as uncompetitive as it was unattractive. It was more ponderous than the tight-handling Fiesta, but the real gut-punch was that the EcoSport arrived right around the time Ford said it would kill all non-SUV cars except the Mustang. — Eric Weiner
You are not us?
I was going to say the Ford EcoSport, but it looks like that one has been spoken for. (Put me down as seconding that motion, however.) So instead, I’ll turn my attention to the Lamborghini Urus. I don’t really care that it’s become the brand’s best-selling vehicle basically overnight. I don’t care that it’s a cash machine. I don’t care that Porsche was the first of those holdout sports-car marques to worship at the SUV altar. Porsche is German, which means logic reigns supreme. Of course there was going to be an SUV.
Lamborghini? It’s Italian. (This is the part where you guys “WELL ACKSHUALLY” me about the VW Group’s ownership and the parts sharing. Save it—I’m on a roll here.)
The whole brand is emotion and sex and things worried parents try to pray away. It’s crass, joyous, spiteful defiance of logic and reservation. The Urus feels like none of that. — Nathan Petroelje
Fry the oil-burner
This is such a fun game of the “butterfly effect” for me: I’ll think of one car that I would love to smite and, just a second later, realize that without that car we wouldn’t have something else. I thought of at least three despicable models that had positive implications in the marketplace. That said, I wish all the 1978–85 GM diesel cars never happened.
Those cars and the stories that spiraled from them put a bad taste in the mouths of so consumers when it came to diesel engines—a bad taste that was largely undeserved. If buyers would have received diesel cars that functioned properly and were actually thought-through, I think history would have changed. For good or bad I don’t know, but it’s hard to argue things wouldn’t have taken a different path. — Kyle Smith
Adios, Tin Lizzie
Channeling my inner Loki, I’d adopt the “agent of chaos” role for this scenario and I’d kill the Ford Model T. It would be interesting to see what the automotive landscape would look like today in its absence. — Stefan Lombard
Kill every icon!
Ooooh … if we’re doing chaos theory, let’s also kill the Tucker (no safety innovations), the Beetle (no VW or Porsche), the Mustang (no pony car wars), and the GTO (no muscle cars). Maybe the Corolla (no foreign cars made in the U.S.)? — Todd Kraemer
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Lee Iacoca’s first minivan. Didn’t have enough power in those four bangers, had to downshift to run over a cigar butt. Saved the company but what a turd.👎
The K Car saved Chrysler (a nice Reliant automobile).
What a dumb rant. You guys are armatures. Kill stupid ideas. Kill bad cars and trucks. Kill ugly ones that are bad. Kill ones that don’t sell when new or used… Kill the Suzuki X90. Kill the Renault Fuego. Kill the VW Phaeton. I could hold a class.
“Armatures”? 😂 🤦♂️
KILL THE MODEL T?! Wow-
If anything, cease Corvette production from 1972-1984 .
Sadly I would say you can kill all the redundant brands companies have. Why make 2 or more of the same thing with a barely different shell? As car companies lose their personality as their lineup becomes compliance Toasters I think more brands could go through a culling.
What a dumb rant. You guys are amatures. Kill stupid ideas. Kill bad cars and trucks. Kill ugly ones that are bad. Kill ones that don’t sell when new or used… Kill the Suzuki X90. Kill the Renault Fuego. Kill the VW Phaeton. I could hold a class.
Didn’t care for the article – it was a waste of my time -thank you not
The Pontiac Aztec……..!
I can’t believe the Pontiac Aztec didn’t make this list.
The comments are way better than the article.
You know, if you don’t like something, DON’T BUY IT! Somebody liked these cars otherwise they wouldn’t last more than a year in production. I don’t care for a lot of the styling (or lack of it) these days. They are designed to a price point and have to be in production for a decade or better>>no changing style every 1-3 years. You can always TAKE THE BUS!
Nissan Joke, sorry Juke has to be the ugliest crossover with Toyota C-HR first runner up.
Makes that Aztec look positively elegant (if Breaking Bad was made today, Walter White would surely drive a Juke).
Totally agree. I’m amazed I had to wade through 4 pages of nonsense to finally see the Juke on this list. The comment that the Nissan Leaf was the ugliest of the 21st century might have been true until the Juke was introduced. I do foolish things to get past them when I encounter them on the road. I also believe that the Aztek was the worst of the 20th century.
With the privilege, given to few writers, of reaching a national audience passionate about the automobile, this publication chooses to waste our time on a pointless and juvenile article. So many interesting and exciting things to write about and we get this meaningless crap.
The chrysler “Sebring” convertible / chrysler 200 convertible was putrid. The side windows started above your shoulders and the trunk lid was a staggering 4 feet high making it difficult to close and to see over even for a 6 foot tall driver. Its anemic four cylinder engine had no hope of keeping up with traffic. The only good thing about the one I had was it was a rental and I only had to put up with it for a week. Easily chrysler’s worst vehicle ever. It even made the lousy k-car look like a car you would want to drive by comparison.
“Porsche is German, which means logic reigns supreme.” Don’t remind them of the Smart car and Maybach. Both losers, but the Germans refused to admit defeat, especially when they had our (Chrysler’s) money to burn on their whims.
I owned an Olds diesel, bought it for a company car new in 1980. Kept it six months, it spent almost 40 days in the shop for 20% downtime. A day a week, are you kidding? Oil change required every 3000 miles! I sold it at a big loss and never bought another GM car.