What happened to happy-looking cars?
In late October, an old Land Rover Series III station wagon that I bought in the U.K. sailed into a California port on a vehicle carrier after three weeks at sea. It was parked in the sun and salt air of the dock to wait out what I believed would be, based on five previous imports, a couple of days of Customs clearance. A week went by. Then another, with barely any information despite repeated inquiries. My temperature began rising. I went around telling people that Customs adopted a new motto: E Screwitus Younum.
So perhaps I wasn’t in the best mood when pics of the new Lotus Eletre SUV dropped in my inbox. I like Lotus and I’m not opposed to luxury SUVs, but the styling did strike me as just another angry face in the crowd. The Eletre has pinched headlights and a scowling grille, and one imagines that Lotus’s designers were evoking a fearsome cobra. Or a warrior chief in the throes of doing his taxes. Or 5-year-old me tasting gefilte fish for the first time.
Thanks to relentless copying and the auto industry’s deep fascination with fads, cars today are almost universally unhappy. They fret, they glare, they scowl, they stew with festering grudges. They are at risk of developing deep and permanent worry lines. For decades, the Toyota Crown has been the upright and understated flagship of Japan’s taxi fleet as well as legions of sensible salarymen. Toyota just released pictures of the new Crown: slit headlights, a jutting chin accentuating an acute underbite, and a wall-to-wall grimace for a grille. Toyota has become enamored with inking its creations with random blackout panels, and the Crown is so thusly tatted that it looks like a gangbanger out on an assuredly brief parole. The new Crown is not here to provide safe, reliable transport—it’s here to swipe your watch and wallet.
Cars seem to reflect our mood. Columnist David Brooks wrote in The New York Times recently that “the negativity in the culture reflects the negativity in real life,” noting that researchers who analyzed 150,000 pop songs released over 50 years determined that the word “love” appeared half as often in later years, while the word “hate” had an uptick. From the endless downbeat headlines to the repeated surveys that say more and more people rate their lives as terrible, the world is in a funk, and it apparently wants its cars to be sad and angry, too.
This wasn’t a problem when most of our classics were built. They were given regal, technical, and forward-to-the-future faces. It helped that industry standard from the 1930s to the 1980s was a 7-inch round headlight (followed by a 5.5-incher), because round lenses backed by semi-hemispherical reflectors did a good job of concentrating light, especially from 6-volt bulbs. Darkness, both literal and figurative, was thus banished to the shadows. The ultimate happy car, the bug-eyed Austin-Healey Sprite, was born into a Britain mired in empire collapse, currency drift, nuclear threat, and increasing social disorder. Yet it keeps smiling (and making smiles) to this day, reminding us all to stop clenching and maybe lighten the hell up.
I waited out Customs with scant information, which sent me to black, enraging places where uncaring bureaucrats lounge through long coffee breaks and slow-walk approvals out of unwarranted spite. Finally, I talked to someone in the know and learned that old Land Rovers get extra scrutiny because theft and import fraud has become so rampant among them. The thin blue line was merely doing its job, and two weeks was actually pretty good—some Rovers have taken six months to clear.
And there it was on the dock, filthy, spotted with seagull crap, but still bright-eyed and chipper. Old Land Rovers have a simple face—just a cube, really, yet a welcoming and competent one. It’s a face that says, “Keep calm and carry on.” And, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Apparently, from all the thefts, it’s a face loved the world over, perhaps proving that we’re ready for some happier cars to take us to happier days.
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In my world fancy plastic light assemblies and bumper covers would be part of the deductible. Then watch for sensible and simpler designs to follow.
Waste of time
WHAT is a waste of time? You did not specify.
Brilliantly astute observation, Francis.
Sadly, the angry cars seem to match the general mood of the country nowadays.
Then there’s a lot of the new EV’s. to me they look like they have no soul. Will society follow? Like Invasion of the pod people kinda stuff. Lol
The 1960 Chrysler Imperial has the biggest smile of any happy design car IMO.
I have been going on for years about the faces of cars – and how new cars all look angry or aggressive. I love a happy-looking car, it makes me smile and I automatically feel kinder and gentler towards the drivers of a happy car.
What has occurred to ME over the last 20 years, is that designers seem able to produce cars with EITHER a good looking FRONT END, or BACK END, but incapable of producing cars that look good on BOTH ends. Exceptions might be the original NSX, Cobra Daytona, and a couple of BMWs (not all). Don’t they teach design that way, anymore?
Good call on the NSX and Cobra. I think the Nissan 300 ZX (Z32) should also be on the list.
I agree, I’m tired of cars that are angry. The older Miatas had such cheerful faces, like they were really enjoying that drive or day at the track. I have a TJ-series Jeep Wrangler, and it always struck me as a cheerful and fun-loving car – but the Grumpy Grill has become an infection. Every single one is inevitably driven aggressively, riding my rear bumper and cutting off other drivers. The current generation of Jeeps still seem happy to me – at least until some whey-chugging aggro steroid-Bro gets his hands on it and gives it a personality disorder.
The ” angry/happy ” look cycles back and forth. The cars of the fifties had a mean look.
Not only do I agree with Mr. Robinson’s point of view, but it is the first time I recall gefilte fish being mentioned in an automotive article. Although not a staple of my diet, I like the stuff once or twice a year (especially when garnished with horseradish). I guess that is something I don’t agree with Mr. Robinson about.
I had Little Bug Eye Sprite and LOVED it. Such a FUN car . Rode stiff but handled like on rails. Yea, the new ones are better in many respects but the FUN factor is not there. Angry is what it`s all about but looking at the Sprite just tells you there`s Fun inside.
In my opinion most all of the Toyota/Lexus cars have grim and ugly faces now. I have had a 1995 NA Mazda Miata, and currently drive a 2004 Miata NB. I love the friendly faces. My 44yr old son does as well, he drives a big family 2021 Mazda SUV and It has a smiley face and some chrome as well.
SO SO TIRED of the ‘Mad Jeep’ grilles.
Every knuckle head has to add that grille to their Huge Wheel, Big Red Jack on-the-hood,
Jerry can loaded, Snorkle equipped Jeep.
Then they are ready to crawl through the Starbuck Drive Thru.
I’ll keep driving my Meyers Manx. It puts a smile on my face and everyone around me.
Yes–It seems that everything is more serious looking nowadays–even things like “Colors” cars are /Grey/Tan/beige/white/black or brown—Rarely cheerful–so are our homes–even Blues & greens are being toned down by adding a grey tinge– Hell a lot of newer or renovated homes are off white & Grey only–