Some meatbag stole Slim Jim’s Nissan Z, and we’re salty
If the conniving monster who stole the custom Nissan Z tricked out by Slim Jim is reading this, we have but one thing to say:
You’re a real jerky.
Slim Jim, the American brand known for slender-tubed protein snacks (bicker amongst yourselves as to the validity of using “meat” as a descriptor), finds itself the victim of a daring automotive heist. Someone has absconded with their heavily-customized Nissan Z promotional vehicle, dubbed “FastMeat.” The car was on a road trip as part of a partnership between Slim Jim and the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) league, having recently made stops in Chicago and Los Angeles. It was stolen while out in California.
There’s an active police investigation underway, presumably helmed by officers who know the value of staving off hunger while on the job. More importantly, perhaps, is the social media movement that’s sprung up under the hashtag #FindFastMeat. Started by Slim Jim, it’s a plea to its most loyal fanbase, who calls themselves the Long Boi Gang, to help find the car. (This author turns 30 in three weeks; is this what it’s like to realize you’re officially out of touch with the youths?)
if #FASTMEAT is going to be a star i think it deserves an intro track
whose got me(at)? #SurvivorSeries https://t.co/j68xXNQ6WD
— Slim Jim 🚀 MEATA (@SlimJim) November 26, 2023
“We knew we had something special with our custom car, but had no idea it would be in such demand that someone would steal it,” said Ashley Spade, VP and General Manager, Snacks at Conagra Brands (Slim Jim’s parent company). Ravenous hunger will make a person do wild things—including, now, stealing a food-themed car.
But what a custom car it is. FastMeat boasts fiery branded orange and yellow wrap and equally flashy LED undercarriage lighting, ensuring this thing turns heads (and possibly stomachs?) everywhere it goes. Inside, a custom yellow interior features a special Slim Jim holder, a one-of-a-kind Slim Jim Dispenser in the glove box, and plenty of hidden Easter eggs for the Long Boi Gang (nope, still don’t get it) to appreciate.
If you have any tips about FastMeat’s whereabouts, or if you happen to spot this vivacious sports car out and about, please contact the Los Angeles Police Department using this link.
Let’s hope they’re able to locate FastMeat before someone has to go before the charcuterie board and explain themselves.
Keep that head on a swivel, Oscar Meyer; the Weinermobile might be next.
***
Check out the Hagerty Media homepage so you don’t miss a single story, or better yet, bookmark it. To get our best stories delivered right to your inbox, subscribe to our newsletters.
It will be rather conspicuous rolling around the streets of Nigeria. When something that distinctive disappears, you almost know it’s destination was the inside of a sea van
Nathan, thought you were going to say it got heisted in DC (auto thefts 6,700 up 90 percent, so the mayor started to hand out tracking devices to car owners so they could find there car when it gets stolen). Guess LaLa Land should start doing the same. Now as TG said this car is bound for the dirt trails of some African country. To bad but it was just a wrap and not something from Kindget Designs…..
WHAT ??? !!! … no tracking device???
I all-too-often see race/custom/hot rod cars and trucks advertised as stolen It is the year of our Lord, 2023 – get with it! Protect you vehicles with a tracking device! My cousin had her I-Phone stolen – she contacted the police, and met an officer at the home of the thief – she knew exactly where her phone was!
Either the stupidest car thief in history, or as noted, in a container and loaded at the Port of Long Beach within 1/2 hour. I hope the Nigerian prince enjoys his new toy.
Literally how hard can this be to find? Are the police blind? Do they not watch television?
Arby’s has a commercial where they say “Arbys’s, we have the (fast)meats!” This has been planned for some time. Go question them. Haul the head Beef in for interrogation. Put him on the rack. Any way you slice it they look guilty.
And grab me some horsey sauce while you are there.
Do I see cross brand collaborations in the future?
Bear in mind that thieves are using these tracking devices in reverse. They slip one into/under/on something they think is valuable, then track it later (some dark night?) to where it lives and plot the theft.
So a tracking device might help you find your car, but it might also be helping a thief find it too!
Slim Jim? It looks more like it’s been sniffing Cheetos dust.
“Gee officer, how did you know I stole it?”
I guess the thief is saying, “The heck with you, Arby’s, WE’VE got the meats…”
Hopefully, whomever stole it did so with the intent of returning it back to stock…this thing is ridiculous. 🙄