Our Two Cents: The Most Boring New Cars on Sale Today
Here in Our Two Cents, we do our best to keep our opinions unfiltered and unvarnished. Be it cars, trucks, SUVs, or anything in between, every vehicle has pros and cons. Sometimes the cons are wholly irrelevant, if you can buy the vehicle for the right price. Heck, I’d gladly buy a Pontiac Aztek if the keys could be mine for a cool grand. That’s a lot of vehicle for the money!
But today’s question is more about brand-new vehicles, especially ones that are boring. Most of us can do better than “boring” if we’re looking for a brand-new ride, so let’s see what vehicles are not on our shopping lists.
All Teslas (except Cybertruck)
While my first experience with a Tesla back in 2013 was impressive, competition has definitely improved the breed. New EVs are like a Chevy Series H and Series F, while Tesla is still cranking out Ford Model Ts in a single color. Software updates are great, but styling changes like Project Highland should be 42 percent as radical as the Cybertruck … and happen far more often. — Sajeev Mehta
I like this question and I agree about Teslas. I remember thinking how legitimately cool they were (albeit somewhat plain) when they first came out. Now that you see them everywhere and the new ones look exactly like the old ones. Yawn! — Ben Woodworth
Tesla is the new Prius! Change my mind. — Greg Ingold
Luxury SUVs
For me it’s the luxury SUVs like the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, Bentley Bentayga, Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne, and Ferrari Purosangue. I am not the type of person with enough disposable income to justify these as a logical purchase, but the whole concept is just plain stupid. I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car. — Greg Ingold
Jeep Wrangler
I’m going to go with the Jeep Wrangler! I get it, the shape is “iconic,” it has a lot of history and a rabid enthusiast base. But as an admitted non-Jeep person, I don’t know why anyone would choose a Jeep over, say, a Ford Bronco or Toyota 4Runner. Heck, I’d even take a Wilderness Edition Subaru over any Jeep, and that’s saying something, because most people would agree that Subarus are generally pretty boring.
A friend of mine asked me if I could fix the taillight on his Jeep. He’s had it for a couple years and I just assumed it was maybe a 2019 or newer. Nope, it was a 2007. Sorry, but if I can’t tell the difference between a new one and a 16-year old one, that equals boring to me. Then again, maybe It’s A Jeep Thing? — Ben Woodworth
Interesting choice! For me it’s the fact that the Wrangler is quite unique, until you see the same angry grille fifty times on the road and it makes you want to gnash your teeth and squint back at it. Yes, Angry Jeep, I get it: You’re unique, just like everyone else. — Sajeev Mehta
BMW iX
“This boring thing is 5800 pounds of ugly. And you only get five seats.” — John Mayhead
Nissan Sentra
My sister bought a new Sentra, no doubt influenced by fond memories of her cool 1990s Maxima, long gone, and I resisted my urge to say, “Why? Why did you buy a car that looks like an anonymous rental car that you would sadly drive away from the airport lot?” — Joe DeMatio
Ram 1500 Classic Tradesman
“The Classic Tradesman is basically a 14-year-old truck that is still being produced. Honestly, despite how boring it might be, we are better for it! A simple truck should exist in today’s market, and it’s a little sad we only have one option from the Big Three.” — Kyle Smith
I’ve been to Dodge Ram’s online configurator more times than I’d like to admit. I am always there to spec a Classic Tradesman with a Hemi V-8, a short final drive ratio, and whatever color suits me at the time, and I want to enjoy an approachable monthly payment at the end. It’s truly unfortunate we can’t do something like this anywhere else. — Sajeev Mehta
Any SUV
These are all cookie-cutter of the same form and function. SUVs are nothing special in design (with rare exception) and performance. This is especially true in the large SUV category, where they are big lumbering boxes with no driving dynamics. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why everyone wants them so badly. I guess capacity? How much stuff could you possibly need to bring with you? I raised twins. Never needed more than a Saturn Vue. — Todd Kraemer
Having four-plus kids leaves you with few good vehicle options. My wife and I joke about how we should have stopped at two (or at most, three) since now we’re stuck in Minivan or Big SUV Land. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good van. But I agree on full-size SUVs; they’re the worst to drive and live with on a daily basis. They don’t fit in a lot of garages, have horrible visibility, terrible fuel economy, etc. But if we could afford an old Wagoneer, ’90s Defender 110, or OG Land Rover Discovery, my wife would okay that purchase in a heartbeat! —Ben Woodworth
Mitsubishi Mirage
The Mirage has proven to be a pretty durable vehicle, but the driving experience? That’s as boring as it gets. — Steven Cole Smith
Jeep Compass
I’ll take strong exception to the opinions of our friends at Car and Driver and call the Compass one of the uglier designs Jeep has produced. What makes it boring? The excitement you expect from a Jeep badge. It’s the off-brand Stanley Cup of Jeeps: Too urban to be rugged like the Wrangler, it falls embarassingly short of the aspirational status enjoyed by its bigger sibling, the Grand Cherokee. Grand really is the right word: The non-Grand Compass is underwhelming in comparison, inside and out. The Renegade, while cheaper and smaller, is honest: It’s just the small, cheap Jeep. Or it was, anyway. — Grace Houghton
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I’m new to Jeep Wranglers as I just bought my first one a couple weeks ago. I was quite surprised to see a Wrangler on this list. “Boring” is not a word I would pick to describe a vehicle that can be so easily and reasonably be modified to fit the whims of its owner and still hold a high resale value.
I cannot easily tell one model year of Corvette from another after about 1963, but I’d never call them “boring”.
To define “Boring” is (IMO) a highly subjective exercise.
Never would I ever thought I’d hear Tesla and boring in the same sentence. Considering they’re the best selling cars of any kind on earth, I guess most people don’t agree. As for cold weather performance, I just drove mine 1300 kms in -17 temps. It worked fine, but then I’m not an Uber driver who rents one and drives it stone cold only two miles to a charger. You know I find boring? Running a Challenger Hellcat on the drag strip and being beaten by a Tesla every run.
Cookie cutter people movers, sedans and SUVs, are the money makers for most auto manufacturers, mundane/boring or not. Without those there would be few sports models, at least from the big boys — they might not even exist!
But I do have to mention this inane comment: “I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car.” Well, when you NEED an SUV (hauling people, cargo, or trailer pulling) a sports car just won’t do. If you can afford it, why not go luxury? Now if you’re just driving around by yourself, maybe one passenger a big SUV makes no sense, but you might not be in good physical condition. Getting in and out of a sports car is a young, average size, healthy man’s job. How young depends on size and condition. My 60s sedan sits rather low, though not quite sports car low. My sister-in-law’s Maxima does sit almost sports car low, as low as most sporty coupes. At 62 it’s getting harder to get in and out of…
I bought my first Jeep Wrangler Rubicon in 2021, it is probably the only new vehicle worth buying, it does everything very well and is fun every time I drive it. The only thing I dont like about it is when I can’t drive it.
I’d have to say living the glory days of my youth… buying a shitbox, beating it up, repeat. Too many ppl I know have fallen onto the new car hole with unreliable transmissions, faulty electronics, leaving them no option but to walk away. Sure the used cars today are Covid price but a hell of a lot more reliable than the crap they’re making today.
There are many vehicles that qualify as just transportation appliances. Most Cars/SUV/Trucks are marketed on everything but the actual driving experience IE: Hey! it’s equipped with Apple car play, a really big infotainment screen and it will order your dinner. I despise electric vehicles, mostly because the government is shoving them down our throats. They are not selling very. That indicates to me that the reckoning has arrived.
I agree! BORING really set in when car reviews started saying “the handling is decent, doesn’t get in the way” and they now ALL have a section for “technology” which doesn’t mean go-fast parts, it means “crap in the cabin that lets you forget you’re in a car at all” or “safety nannies” that seem akin to prescribing xanax, keeps you from crashing if you’re a crappy driver, but is really debilitating to a competent driver.
I do hope people keep buying non-boring cars at least enough that there are some still for sale. We are really lucky that in this current age of BORING there are still a few 2 door, rear drive, manual trans, brand new cars for sale.
My response is “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” The Jeep Wrangler is a perfect example, as was the classic VW Beetle. The same body panel and most parts are interchangeable for many model years, which saves consumers and the auto makers tons of money.
The endless “upgrades” that auto manufacturers feel compelled to make year after year are mostly marketing hype rather than real improvements. It’s usually change for the sake of change, and a huge waste of money and development costs for what really amounts to very minor tweaks in body panels and trim.
A total redesign of a vehicle that radically changes (and improves) its appearance, or replacing an aging powertrain with one that is more fuel efficient, cleaner and/or delivers better performance are welcome upgrades IF they are truly needed because of dwindling sales or public interest.
A positive example would be the change from the C7 to the C8 Corvette. The C8 is a big change in appearance and a big improvement in it’s performance potential with the mid-engine layout. Yet many people would argue that there was nothing “wrong” with the C7 Corvette in terms of looks or performance. But if Chevy wants to compete with the high dollar exotic cars (Lamborghini, Ferrari, McLaren, etc.), they had to upgrade to a mid-engine design.
Boring to look at or boring to drive? Our national obsession with black, white, and silver/gray vehicles is boring regardless of how they drive. One observation, to me all SUV’s look largely alike (no pun intended). A Lamborghini SUV does not stand out from the crowd in the same way a Lamborghini sports car does. One potato, two potato, three potato, four…..
More than the car I think it’s various features on a car that make it boring like constantly variable transmissions. Most moan like a cow being milked by a cold handed farmer. Another one is any car that isn’t a good dance partner with handling leans too much or doesn’t steer accurately and anything that’s underpowered and doesn’t have a good sounding engine note makes for a boring car. And responsive , confidence inspiring brakes are a must. Having good headlights will also keep my interest in driving that car. But, driving a slow car at 8/10 is often less boring than driving a high performance car at 4/10. I am thinking that the car manufacturers more and more desire that their cars are boring the new cruise control systems, slow the car down excessively for the slightest corner or whenever there’s any type of occlusion in the road I guess that’s necessary for safety, but I have never seen them able to generate more than .2 gees in any direction, which makes for a very boring ride especially if you know the road and you would like to take advantage of it.
Yes, boring is engineered into the designs these days. That’s why all cars understeer…so when the crappy drivers lose control, the airbags can keep them from dying.
Agree with everything except the one that, of course, tops your list — Teslas. Will Hagerty ever stop hating on EVs?! I can tell you that the acceleration of my Tesla is never boring. The constant updates keep the tech fresh. And never having to pump gas nor spend money on oil, spark plugs, transmission fluid, brakes, etc., etc. never gets old!
Agree …and the other cars in our garage are a Porsche 993 and 356C.
I guarantee I pay way less to keep my ICE vehicle on the road than any Tesla, plus I can actually fix or service the car I own. Elon and all his elitist “friends” would have us wait months (some over a year) just to get a part that will be obsolete sooner than Lithium Ion batteries.
I propose that the ultimate “boring” car is made by a company called Zoox, based in the CA SF bay area. It is a car specifically designed for people that DON’T like driving. I look forward to this future…I’ll be heel-toeing to save humanity from the evil AI!
https://www.carthrottle.com/post/2z88q9x#:~:text=%C3%A9X%2DDriver%20is%20an%20anime,drive%20their%20cars%20for%20them
The Huge SUV`s are nothing more than ” The Look ” See what I can $$$$$$$$ spend ! ! A TRUE look at me thing. I may not NEED it but I WANT IT !
Having a non-Jeep guy give you his take on Jeeps is like Fox News gives you their opinion of Joe Biden.
The answer is EVs. Period. They are soulless appliances. You can’t get anymore boring than that.
So you find a low 9 second street car boring? What is exciting then?