Our Two Cents: The Most Boring New Cars on Sale Today
Here in Our Two Cents, we do our best to keep our opinions unfiltered and unvarnished. Be it cars, trucks, SUVs, or anything in between, every vehicle has pros and cons. Sometimes the cons are wholly irrelevant, if you can buy the vehicle for the right price. Heck, I’d gladly buy a Pontiac Aztek if the keys could be mine for a cool grand. That’s a lot of vehicle for the money!
But today’s question is more about brand-new vehicles, especially ones that are boring. Most of us can do better than “boring” if we’re looking for a brand-new ride, so let’s see what vehicles are not on our shopping lists.
All Teslas (except Cybertruck)
While my first experience with a Tesla back in 2013 was impressive, competition has definitely improved the breed. New EVs are like a Chevy Series H and Series F, while Tesla is still cranking out Ford Model Ts in a single color. Software updates are great, but styling changes like Project Highland should be 42 percent as radical as the Cybertruck … and happen far more often. — Sajeev Mehta
I like this question and I agree about Teslas. I remember thinking how legitimately cool they were (albeit somewhat plain) when they first came out. Now that you see them everywhere and the new ones look exactly like the old ones. Yawn! — Ben Woodworth
Tesla is the new Prius! Change my mind. — Greg Ingold
Luxury SUVs
For me it’s the luxury SUVs like the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, Bentley Bentayga, Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne, and Ferrari Purosangue. I am not the type of person with enough disposable income to justify these as a logical purchase, but the whole concept is just plain stupid. I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car. — Greg Ingold
Jeep Wrangler
I’m going to go with the Jeep Wrangler! I get it, the shape is “iconic,” it has a lot of history and a rabid enthusiast base. But as an admitted non-Jeep person, I don’t know why anyone would choose a Jeep over, say, a Ford Bronco or Toyota 4Runner. Heck, I’d even take a Wilderness Edition Subaru over any Jeep, and that’s saying something, because most people would agree that Subarus are generally pretty boring.
A friend of mine asked me if I could fix the taillight on his Jeep. He’s had it for a couple years and I just assumed it was maybe a 2019 or newer. Nope, it was a 2007. Sorry, but if I can’t tell the difference between a new one and a 16-year old one, that equals boring to me. Then again, maybe It’s A Jeep Thing? — Ben Woodworth
Interesting choice! For me it’s the fact that the Wrangler is quite unique, until you see the same angry grille fifty times on the road and it makes you want to gnash your teeth and squint back at it. Yes, Angry Jeep, I get it: You’re unique, just like everyone else. — Sajeev Mehta
BMW iX
“This boring thing is 5800 pounds of ugly. And you only get five seats.” — John Mayhead
Nissan Sentra
My sister bought a new Sentra, no doubt influenced by fond memories of her cool 1990s Maxima, long gone, and I resisted my urge to say, “Why? Why did you buy a car that looks like an anonymous rental car that you would sadly drive away from the airport lot?” — Joe DeMatio
Ram 1500 Classic Tradesman
“The Classic Tradesman is basically a 14-year-old truck that is still being produced. Honestly, despite how boring it might be, we are better for it! A simple truck should exist in today’s market, and it’s a little sad we only have one option from the Big Three.” — Kyle Smith
I’ve been to Dodge Ram’s online configurator more times than I’d like to admit. I am always there to spec a Classic Tradesman with a Hemi V-8, a short final drive ratio, and whatever color suits me at the time, and I want to enjoy an approachable monthly payment at the end. It’s truly unfortunate we can’t do something like this anywhere else. — Sajeev Mehta
Any SUV
These are all cookie-cutter of the same form and function. SUVs are nothing special in design (with rare exception) and performance. This is especially true in the large SUV category, where they are big lumbering boxes with no driving dynamics. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why everyone wants them so badly. I guess capacity? How much stuff could you possibly need to bring with you? I raised twins. Never needed more than a Saturn Vue. — Todd Kraemer
Having four-plus kids leaves you with few good vehicle options. My wife and I joke about how we should have stopped at two (or at most, three) since now we’re stuck in Minivan or Big SUV Land. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good van. But I agree on full-size SUVs; they’re the worst to drive and live with on a daily basis. They don’t fit in a lot of garages, have horrible visibility, terrible fuel economy, etc. But if we could afford an old Wagoneer, ’90s Defender 110, or OG Land Rover Discovery, my wife would okay that purchase in a heartbeat! —Ben Woodworth
Mitsubishi Mirage
The Mirage has proven to be a pretty durable vehicle, but the driving experience? That’s as boring as it gets. — Steven Cole Smith
Jeep Compass
I’ll take strong exception to the opinions of our friends at Car and Driver and call the Compass one of the uglier designs Jeep has produced. What makes it boring? The excitement you expect from a Jeep badge. It’s the off-brand Stanley Cup of Jeeps: Too urban to be rugged like the Wrangler, it falls embarassingly short of the aspirational status enjoyed by its bigger sibling, the Grand Cherokee. Grand really is the right word: The non-Grand Compass is underwhelming in comparison, inside and out. The Renegade, while cheaper and smaller, is honest: It’s just the small, cheap Jeep. Or it was, anyway. — Grace Houghton
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So … the ugliest truck ever created … is not boring? Whoever designed the Cybertruck clearly was on drugs! It pretty well indicates the value of the authors opinion on what is “boring”!
I bet the process of designing the Cybertruck was certainly NOT boring! What a crazy bunch of engineering quagmires to solve, to match the projected outer appearance.
I have to disagree with Tesla being boring. It’s true that they don’t get styling changes, but neither did the Model T, VW Beetle, Original Mini, or Citroen 2CV. I’ve been driving a Tesla for 5 years now and still enjoy the experience. And I do drive it across the country and in subzero temps with no problems, which is definitely not boring.
Driving small, slow cars fast is never “boring”. The Mirage in manual form is actually a hoot. Driving large, fast vehicles slowly (i.e., under 200 km/h) definitely is boring. I would draw the attention of hairy-chested North American speed freaks to the Autobahn, and suggest they learn how to drive on it safely, buy a fast car in Germany, keep it there, and drive it as often as possible. Nothing else will do as good a job of satisfying the urge to drive fast on public roads. Where I live on Canada’s west coast (Vancouver Island), there is not a single km of highway with a limit above 90 km/h within two hours’ drive. So I drive a manual Mercedes coupe in summer and a slushbox VW wagon in winter, both with around 200 hp, both of which are far too fast for our roads if pushed, and one of which certainly is boring. My opinion is that all recent cars except supercars, actual sports cars, and manual-shift sub-compacts are essentially boring to look at and to drive on the street. A Jeep Wrangler, Defender, or Ineos Grenadier would be fun off-road.
My wife had a Sentra XE, but when I drove it, it became a Sentraxe.
What does a person gain by being able to accelerate a Tesla to 60 in 2 seconds? I have a 2000 Honda Accord, 4 cylinder, 3-speed automatic. With only the driver, on level roadway–from a standing-start, I can accelerate 0-60 in 4-5 seconds (one has to know how to use the accelerator pedal when shifting an automatic to “get 4 speeds”). What have I gained? Where can I go in town 0-60? The car will go 90mph all day long on the highway. It is comfortable. Looks–it looks like almost every other 2000 car on the road.
As long as it continues to drive well–is there any reason for me to spend $70 Grand on a new Tesla (etc.)?
(for which the Taxpayer will subsidize me and my EV–thank you kind working brutha and sistah!). I can hardly say enough bad about new cars–EV and otherwise!
Why a JEEP? Full frame and a solid front axle. Don’t even get me started on the aftermarket support.
For people whose ideal car is an oversized iPhone on wheels, buy a Tesla. For driving enthusiasts, it’s the anti-car, all tech and no personality. Woody Allen previewed the Tesla back in the 1970’s, in the movie Sleeper. Except he was able to get the autonomous driving feature to work (at least for the movie). Watch the movie and you’ll see what I’m referring to. Personally, I will keep driving cars with internal combustion engines and manual transmissions, for as long as I’m living and breathing.
ok, i’ve read all comments up to this one. i find comments sometimes as much if not more entertaining than the article itself. but “that’s one man’s opinion”. and since boring is based on one’s opinion, i can’t knock anyone’s comments. well…maybe disagree. but that’s part of the fun, for me anyway.
i find automatic transmissions boring, and driving most cars so equipped. and my definition of such is any transmission that does its thing without further driver input after shifting/pressing/voicing it in ‘D’, or its equivalent. that includes traditional clutch pack type, cvt, dual clutch, etc etc. no third pedal? no rowing thru the gears? boring. my ’23 impreza has hill decent control. i find that feature boring. stopped at a light on a hill with the vehicle behind me only 6″ away? no challenge! as far as the rest of the car, at least it’s a manual and probably one of the last 5 usa retailed mt equipped soobs. and maybe my primary driver, a ’90 nissan 1-ton hardbody v6 & 5 mt is boring to all but me. but then, maybe some might find one my other 34 vehicles (only 4 are a/t equipped) something other than boring. or maybe not. hey, enjoy your opinion!
Driving my triumph tr6 is never boring she sits in the garage right how just waiting for spring
Nope, completely agree, That’s why I have several classics (and a screaming resto-mod).
All new cars today are boring – with exceptions of exotics! The day of style and innovation has expired and now everyone has (as a previous commenter mentioned) an appliance.
Any “electric” car/truck/etc. Full or hybrid. Makes no difference to me. I don’t want one and if you want to give me one, instead take it the salvage yard and give me the scrap metal (if they would even take it, which they probably wouldn’t).
Luxury SUV’s may be stupid but they sell lots of product for the manufacturers.
Cayenne was the first.
Ya, Porsches winning races can get boring 😉 see: Transsyberia rally.
Actually the first was the X5. I remember seeing one for the first time, like in 1999. I was into beemer sedans, and lifted Toyotas…the X5 seemed to combine the two, and added a set of race car tires to do it on. I was totally blown away, it was the most magnificent machine I had ever seen.
Finally I got a Cayenne. Drive it like it’s meant to and it totally kicks ass and drenches me in adrenaline. The transition from rally rager to autobahn slayer (can be done while moving) is nothing short of sublime. The Cayenne is the most potent and useful (to an enthusiast driver) vehicle I have ever heard of…
Besides, who can say watching the BMW XM crash on Pikes Peak is boring?
However…Aviator, boring. Genesis, BORING. Mercedes, boring (except when doing the bouncy dance out of the sand…kinda like a Tesla dance). Cullinan, BORING. Bentayga…boring. Even the Urus…mostly boring.
& whos'[ definition of Boring?? Not all vehicles are supposed to be Exciting mostly they are just transportation– I have’nt seen an “Exciting” looking car Exterior (below 100 thousand dollars in Decades–
SUVs are for people who need a minivan, but don’t want to admit it, and yes todays are all the same boring curved shape. Prefer the older square versions. Just because something has been around awhile doesn’t make it boring.
Then why don’t they just get a station wagon? Same room, half the bulk and can actually be fun. My 1986 Volvo 740 Turbo wagon (manual transmission, of course) was one of my all time favorite cars.