Our Two Cents: The Most Boring New Cars on Sale Today
Here in Our Two Cents, we do our best to keep our opinions unfiltered and unvarnished. Be it cars, trucks, SUVs, or anything in between, every vehicle has pros and cons. Sometimes the cons are wholly irrelevant, if you can buy the vehicle for the right price. Heck, I’d gladly buy a Pontiac Aztek if the keys could be mine for a cool grand. That’s a lot of vehicle for the money!
But today’s question is more about brand-new vehicles, especially ones that are boring. Most of us can do better than “boring” if we’re looking for a brand-new ride, so let’s see what vehicles are not on our shopping lists.
All Teslas (except Cybertruck)
While my first experience with a Tesla back in 2013 was impressive, competition has definitely improved the breed. New EVs are like a Chevy Series H and Series F, while Tesla is still cranking out Ford Model Ts in a single color. Software updates are great, but styling changes like Project Highland should be 42 percent as radical as the Cybertruck … and happen far more often. — Sajeev Mehta
I like this question and I agree about Teslas. I remember thinking how legitimately cool they were (albeit somewhat plain) when they first came out. Now that you see them everywhere and the new ones look exactly like the old ones. Yawn! — Ben Woodworth
Tesla is the new Prius! Change my mind. — Greg Ingold
Luxury SUVs
For me it’s the luxury SUVs like the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, Bentley Bentayga, Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne, and Ferrari Purosangue. I am not the type of person with enough disposable income to justify these as a logical purchase, but the whole concept is just plain stupid. I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car. — Greg Ingold
Jeep Wrangler
I’m going to go with the Jeep Wrangler! I get it, the shape is “iconic,” it has a lot of history and a rabid enthusiast base. But as an admitted non-Jeep person, I don’t know why anyone would choose a Jeep over, say, a Ford Bronco or Toyota 4Runner. Heck, I’d even take a Wilderness Edition Subaru over any Jeep, and that’s saying something, because most people would agree that Subarus are generally pretty boring.
A friend of mine asked me if I could fix the taillight on his Jeep. He’s had it for a couple years and I just assumed it was maybe a 2019 or newer. Nope, it was a 2007. Sorry, but if I can’t tell the difference between a new one and a 16-year old one, that equals boring to me. Then again, maybe It’s A Jeep Thing? — Ben Woodworth
Interesting choice! For me it’s the fact that the Wrangler is quite unique, until you see the same angry grille fifty times on the road and it makes you want to gnash your teeth and squint back at it. Yes, Angry Jeep, I get it: You’re unique, just like everyone else. — Sajeev Mehta
BMW iX
“This boring thing is 5800 pounds of ugly. And you only get five seats.” — John Mayhead
Nissan Sentra
My sister bought a new Sentra, no doubt influenced by fond memories of her cool 1990s Maxima, long gone, and I resisted my urge to say, “Why? Why did you buy a car that looks like an anonymous rental car that you would sadly drive away from the airport lot?” — Joe DeMatio
Ram 1500 Classic Tradesman
“The Classic Tradesman is basically a 14-year-old truck that is still being produced. Honestly, despite how boring it might be, we are better for it! A simple truck should exist in today’s market, and it’s a little sad we only have one option from the Big Three.” — Kyle Smith
I’ve been to Dodge Ram’s online configurator more times than I’d like to admit. I am always there to spec a Classic Tradesman with a Hemi V-8, a short final drive ratio, and whatever color suits me at the time, and I want to enjoy an approachable monthly payment at the end. It’s truly unfortunate we can’t do something like this anywhere else. — Sajeev Mehta
Any SUV
These are all cookie-cutter of the same form and function. SUVs are nothing special in design (with rare exception) and performance. This is especially true in the large SUV category, where they are big lumbering boxes with no driving dynamics. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why everyone wants them so badly. I guess capacity? How much stuff could you possibly need to bring with you? I raised twins. Never needed more than a Saturn Vue. — Todd Kraemer
Having four-plus kids leaves you with few good vehicle options. My wife and I joke about how we should have stopped at two (or at most, three) since now we’re stuck in Minivan or Big SUV Land. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good van. But I agree on full-size SUVs; they’re the worst to drive and live with on a daily basis. They don’t fit in a lot of garages, have horrible visibility, terrible fuel economy, etc. But if we could afford an old Wagoneer, ’90s Defender 110, or OG Land Rover Discovery, my wife would okay that purchase in a heartbeat! —Ben Woodworth
Mitsubishi Mirage
The Mirage has proven to be a pretty durable vehicle, but the driving experience? That’s as boring as it gets. — Steven Cole Smith
Jeep Compass
I’ll take strong exception to the opinions of our friends at Car and Driver and call the Compass one of the uglier designs Jeep has produced. What makes it boring? The excitement you expect from a Jeep badge. It’s the off-brand Stanley Cup of Jeeps: Too urban to be rugged like the Wrangler, it falls embarassingly short of the aspirational status enjoyed by its bigger sibling, the Grand Cherokee. Grand really is the right word: The non-Grand Compass is underwhelming in comparison, inside and out. The Renegade, while cheaper and smaller, is honest: It’s just the small, cheap Jeep. Or it was, anyway. — Grace Houghton
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I like coal burning “electric” cars.
Almost the entire list is people mover appliances, they aren’t supposed to be exciting, they are supposed to move people in relative comfort that is all.
Teslas are not nearly as boring as their owners.
Regarding the impractical Tesla not-a-truck. I’m mostly blaming the fool who drove his Tesla off road without proper tires, but the weight of this sled is probably a contributing factor.
https://www.motorious.com/articles/all/tesla-cybertruck-off-road-struggle-prompts-us-forest-service-warning/
But if you want and can afford one of these, good for you.
Vehicle designs have become so bland that my 2021 Toyota Sienna is now cutting edge. Cool!
I was drawing cars since I was 4 years old ( that’s was 1963). And all of my primitive drawings look just like the cars available new today. My part of the auto landscape was NOT design or I would be rich. The SUV ( what the hell does that even mean? Sport Utility Vehicle? What sport? Not Hockey. Not Auto Racing. And utility? The power company does have vans and SUV’s so maybe? It is a vehicle.) Maybe everyone’s attraction to new cars is fond memory’s of crayons and square boxes with wheels. I am driving my 17th Corvette since 1979. It just does Corvette things.
Yes, 99% of all new cars are boring. Blame the Fed’s and insurance companies. Compliance with safety regulations forces designers to compromise design for required content. The only unboring “new” cars will soon be those bought as kits and self assembled (Caterham, Factory Five, etc…..) so as to avoid Big Brothers input into your personal choice of locomotion.
We used to have choices. Now we’re looking at basically the same 4 or 5 vehicles. Only the window dressing is somewhat configurable.
i’m reading all comments before turning in my own. but i had to say, i agree with yours – carbon copy.
You really have a case of the a** about Jeeps. What are you driving? A bicycle?
Boring? The vast majority of cars and trucks sold today. Very few cars that make me want to pay attention these days.
None of them are boring. Some I am more interested in than others. Even today a ride or drive in a car, any car is a treat, a source of pleasure and adventure just as it was when I was a little kid.
I can testify that none of the cars I find fascinating would be on any enthusiast’s list. Each one is a marvel of mechanical sophistication. Take them apart and those pieces are things of beauty all on their own. That they work together to transport people and things for long distances or joy rides, trips to work and the store is an amazing thing for me, still.
I’m even becoming fascinated by the Teslas. Not an advocate but can’t imagine being bored by one. Nor a Sentra. I was fascinated by the rental Versa with CVT my brother let me drive. So labored. Reminiscent of driving my 86 Olds Calais with it’s wheezy Tech4/Iron Duke. Loved the dash. Well built. Trimmed well. Rode well. Overall I liked it a lot. I suspect the Sentra would be pretty much the same.
Never bored whatever it is.
The three in my driveway are probably the epitome of boring and yet they continue to engage, get the job done, entertain and fascinate.
Even the lowliest out there, the Mirage….just the fact someone actually tried to hold the price down to provide a basic automobile is enough to have piqued my interest and still does. I’d never be bored, even with one of those.
I loved the 95 Saturn SL1 my brother owned. He kept apologizing for it. That simplicity hooked me right away. As soon as I got back home I found my own and bought it. Well used, 116,000 miles. I paid for it with a credit card. Little bro is still driving it and he’s as dopey for it as I was.
So no. There are no boring cars, not for me anyway.
Great question though.
I actually like this sentiment very much. ALL cars are wonders of engineering, and we trust them to keep us whole at speeds our non-mechanized fellows would never believe without experiencing it themselves.
My 250 hp Mazda CX-9 has ripped into lots of performance cars through twisty roads, even having Miatas trying to keep up with me around the Tail of the Dragon in North Carolina, so not ALL SUV’s are boring.
Mazda’s are all boring, to me. You either buy into the Mazda philosophy of what a car is/does or you do not. Very much an Asian outlook. Less is more, finesse over power, competent not Head of the class. Everything since the last RX-7 has been been designed to this. I think it is a way to sell emotion over power train engineering. Cheaper to sell an abstract. Mazda has no money to compete on hardware. The CX-5 Turbo my wife bought is the most compromised vehicle I have ever owned in 45 years of purchasing cars. This Emperor has no clothes. Sorry.
I agree with all of these except the Jeep. The look is iconic for that model of the Jeep.
You pick a Wrangler, one of the best selling, most loved, “can do no wrong” even in a down market”, iconic vehicles, as a top most boring vehicle? Really? I’ve seen enough here.
Boring! Look what Honda did to the Ridgeline.
I’m sorry, but any SUV including the Rolls are just an excuse to rid a company of it’s stylists. They all look like boots with four wheels attached. Can we please get back to something that actually looks good!
ha! boots! that’s hilarious!! now we can reference them as we do cars: uggs & guccis are at the luxury end while gorillas & walmart pleathers are every day wear – yet both are SUBs!