Our Two Cents: The Most Boring New Cars on Sale Today
Here in Our Two Cents, we do our best to keep our opinions unfiltered and unvarnished. Be it cars, trucks, SUVs, or anything in between, every vehicle has pros and cons. Sometimes the cons are wholly irrelevant, if you can buy the vehicle for the right price. Heck, I’d gladly buy a Pontiac Aztek if the keys could be mine for a cool grand. That’s a lot of vehicle for the money!
But today’s question is more about brand-new vehicles, especially ones that are boring. Most of us can do better than “boring” if we’re looking for a brand-new ride, so let’s see what vehicles are not on our shopping lists.
All Teslas (except Cybertruck)
While my first experience with a Tesla back in 2013 was impressive, competition has definitely improved the breed. New EVs are like a Chevy Series H and Series F, while Tesla is still cranking out Ford Model Ts in a single color. Software updates are great, but styling changes like Project Highland should be 42 percent as radical as the Cybertruck … and happen far more often. — Sajeev Mehta
I like this question and I agree about Teslas. I remember thinking how legitimately cool they were (albeit somewhat plain) when they first came out. Now that you see them everywhere and the new ones look exactly like the old ones. Yawn! — Ben Woodworth
Tesla is the new Prius! Change my mind. — Greg Ingold
Luxury SUVs
For me it’s the luxury SUVs like the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, Bentley Bentayga, Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne, and Ferrari Purosangue. I am not the type of person with enough disposable income to justify these as a logical purchase, but the whole concept is just plain stupid. I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car. — Greg Ingold
Jeep Wrangler
I’m going to go with the Jeep Wrangler! I get it, the shape is “iconic,” it has a lot of history and a rabid enthusiast base. But as an admitted non-Jeep person, I don’t know why anyone would choose a Jeep over, say, a Ford Bronco or Toyota 4Runner. Heck, I’d even take a Wilderness Edition Subaru over any Jeep, and that’s saying something, because most people would agree that Subarus are generally pretty boring.
A friend of mine asked me if I could fix the taillight on his Jeep. He’s had it for a couple years and I just assumed it was maybe a 2019 or newer. Nope, it was a 2007. Sorry, but if I can’t tell the difference between a new one and a 16-year old one, that equals boring to me. Then again, maybe It’s A Jeep Thing? — Ben Woodworth
Interesting choice! For me it’s the fact that the Wrangler is quite unique, until you see the same angry grille fifty times on the road and it makes you want to gnash your teeth and squint back at it. Yes, Angry Jeep, I get it: You’re unique, just like everyone else. — Sajeev Mehta
BMW iX
“This boring thing is 5800 pounds of ugly. And you only get five seats.” — John Mayhead
Nissan Sentra
My sister bought a new Sentra, no doubt influenced by fond memories of her cool 1990s Maxima, long gone, and I resisted my urge to say, “Why? Why did you buy a car that looks like an anonymous rental car that you would sadly drive away from the airport lot?” — Joe DeMatio
Ram 1500 Classic Tradesman
“The Classic Tradesman is basically a 14-year-old truck that is still being produced. Honestly, despite how boring it might be, we are better for it! A simple truck should exist in today’s market, and it’s a little sad we only have one option from the Big Three.” — Kyle Smith
I’ve been to Dodge Ram’s online configurator more times than I’d like to admit. I am always there to spec a Classic Tradesman with a Hemi V-8, a short final drive ratio, and whatever color suits me at the time, and I want to enjoy an approachable monthly payment at the end. It’s truly unfortunate we can’t do something like this anywhere else. — Sajeev Mehta
Any SUV
These are all cookie-cutter of the same form and function. SUVs are nothing special in design (with rare exception) and performance. This is especially true in the large SUV category, where they are big lumbering boxes with no driving dynamics. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why everyone wants them so badly. I guess capacity? How much stuff could you possibly need to bring with you? I raised twins. Never needed more than a Saturn Vue. — Todd Kraemer
Having four-plus kids leaves you with few good vehicle options. My wife and I joke about how we should have stopped at two (or at most, three) since now we’re stuck in Minivan or Big SUV Land. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good van. But I agree on full-size SUVs; they’re the worst to drive and live with on a daily basis. They don’t fit in a lot of garages, have horrible visibility, terrible fuel economy, etc. But if we could afford an old Wagoneer, ’90s Defender 110, or OG Land Rover Discovery, my wife would okay that purchase in a heartbeat! —Ben Woodworth
Mitsubishi Mirage
The Mirage has proven to be a pretty durable vehicle, but the driving experience? That’s as boring as it gets. — Steven Cole Smith
Jeep Compass
I’ll take strong exception to the opinions of our friends at Car and Driver and call the Compass one of the uglier designs Jeep has produced. What makes it boring? The excitement you expect from a Jeep badge. It’s the off-brand Stanley Cup of Jeeps: Too urban to be rugged like the Wrangler, it falls embarassingly short of the aspirational status enjoyed by its bigger sibling, the Grand Cherokee. Grand really is the right word: The non-Grand Compass is underwhelming in comparison, inside and out. The Renegade, while cheaper and smaller, is honest: It’s just the small, cheap Jeep. Or it was, anyway. — Grace Houghton
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I hope you’re not including a Tesla Plaid when you say all Tesla’s are boring. You’ve tested them so you know what 1020 hp feels like.
As economists explain, the more you have of something, the less valuable any additional increment of that something is. That goes for torque, as well as everything else. After driving a Tesla model S for the first time a decade ago, I was VERY happy to get back into my ’08 Civic (stick). The torque on the Civic doesn’t compare with a Tesla, but I sure love driving the Civic, with that wonderfully responsive engine that sings (it may not be Mozart, but it IS Salieri to the Boxster’s Mozart, whereas EVs don’t sing) and the dancing in the twisties, light on its feet (2,600 lbs). If I had to drive an EV, I’d probably go back to being a bicycle nut (I cycled from Seattle to Boston in ’75).
1020 hp. So what. Put more of that effort into range and less into hp and they might have something. And dump the Taurus jelly bean body.
Exactly. Who in the world needs 1020hp in a family sedan for use in North America? If you can afford such nonsense, buy a real sports car, keep it in Germany, and fly to Europe every month to drive it at actual speed.
All Teslas are fast, the fastest Tesla can still be a bit boring when you aren’t flooring it. The Lucid Air (non Sapphire) is a certainly slower, but it’s anything but boring from any perspective.
I agree with Greg about the luxury SUVs.
Absolutely everything. Chock fill of useless “features” I don’t want, excessively heavy, bland looking, and many now have nothing on the dash but a giant screen. Will just buy one generation older than current to avoid all that soon to break garbage content
Your opinion is noted. I sense a bit of jealousy or envy however. I’ll see you in my rear view mirror. 🙃
I am so with you on all of these. they are all schnorrers (a pun between “snore” and the Yiddish word for beggar and sponger). Teslas are ugly!!! And EVs generally have no personality. SUVs look and drive “meh”. And they don’t hold more people than a regular car.
My family of origin spent a year in France, driving all over that country, and then all over Europe in a roughly 2500 lb Peugeot 404 wagon (4 on the tree), with three kids in the back seat, and the way-back stuffed with our stuff (though not higher than the seat back). I was 12, my brother 15, and my sister 3. We did fine, although my sister had to be bribed with toys to go through museums.
Here’s a photo of, and a story about that Peugeot:
https://www.hagerty.com/media/driving/a-60s-summer-in-paris-leads-to-a-search-for-a-good-peugeot-404/
Ignore the title—should have been In Search of Lost Time—With Apologies to Proust
How about the 911 a lowered VW beatle with more horse power the same look for 50 years that the auto mags call iconic instead of long in the tooth.
Stephen got to disagree. Can’t validate the new models but every time I drive my 997.2 it is not boring! Makes me smile just thinking about it.
I have a couple of vettes that make me smile just to look at and drive fast too but how about a little different style once in awhile.
It you are bored driving a 911 you’re doing it wrong.
The 911 is still best in class, by far. The conservative design ethos is the core of Porsche heritage and philosophy. If the 911 were just an average luxury coupe, the long in the tooth comment would definitely apply. It is kinda like the Suburban…a timeless design that just works. The rear-engine platform is wholly unique in the car world, and the chassis still delivers speed, handling, and most importantly, driver connection to the road surface. Better than any other car.
I do think that unless you’ve driven one, it is easy to think Porsches are boring. The most boring thing about a Porsche (all models) is that achieving 10/10ths of it’s available performance is easy to access, and the precision they all deliver when pushing the limits, has been called (relatively) “boring.”
I am a car guy because back in the 1960s my dad bought a used 1962 Thunderbird M series with 3 two barrel carburetors, a chrome engine treatment and a landau package. The next car was a 1967 Firebird convertible which I still have. These cars were exciting.
I agree many new cars are boring or in case of the new BMWs downright ugly. They look like they have a double Edsel grill. Fortunately I have been blessed and can pursue my car passion. So what do I do for my recent acquisitions to avoid boring. For my wife’s running around cars, in the summer she has a convertible Fiat 500 handles just like a 1960s bug. I just got her a low mileage 2012 Infiniti FX SUV to drive in winter. It is built with many of the same parts as a 350z and looks like a Porsche in front. I just bought a 2024 Ineos Grenadier looks like 1990s Landrover Defender and could be driven around the earth.
Now we have better cars like the Porsche Cayenne S the author did not like. Drive it and it will change your mine. We also have a Landrover LR4 best quality interior I have ever sat in. My daily driver is a 2005 BMW 330 we had since new handles like a sports car and looks good and I can take the grandkids. I actually like driving it better than my BMW Z3M. To get around in winter I drive a Toyota FJ cruiser.
The trouble is one has to really hunt for cars which look good and a pleasure to drive to avoid boring.
I have a Cayenne S and it is boring to look at, however, it has paddle shifters and a high revving V8. That goes a long way to cancelling the visually boring. If it had a third pedal it would be exciting.
Hurry up and get one before they appreciate! If you really look, you can find a 2010 GTS with v8 AND manual transmission!! I have seen one for sale every once in a while, but they run around 30-40k. Older v6 models have the manual up to 2014…
YES! another vote for the Cayenne being so super NOT boring.
Our son recently showed me his brand new Honda Accord. He pointed out that the bumper skirts are not properly aligned with the body. The hood was not properly aligned. The trunk lid was not properly aligned. As we circled the vehicle–he noticed that a piece of door trim (window surround) actually was falling off. This is a BRAND NEW vehicle! He removed the piece so that it would not become lost on the road. Not only so–the car requires FREQUENT computer updates. Only days following a Honda-required service-check (for their new cars), the car signaled that it required a new update. Only a week earlier, the Honda service center had updated the car. New car manufacturers are jerking customers around by the nose with
their frivolous requirements and shoddy workmanship! My son told me NOT to buy a new car! Does that sound like “customer satisfaction”? He has been buying and driving ONLY Hondas since 1990! I bet he don’t do dat again!
My son absolutely LOVES his new 2023 Honda Accord Touring Hybrid. No issues or problems, so I hope your son’s problems on his Accord get resolved.
I think Greg misunderstood the question. The question was about boring cars, not cars you don’t understand. Those high-performance SUVs (Porsche, Lamborghini, Ferrari, et al) certainly aren’t boring. Yes, the common person can’t afford them, but I assure Greg that if he actually drove one, he wouldn’t say they were boring. No, they aren’t going to perform the same as their sports car brethren, but they aren’t meant to be exactly the same, or there wouldn’t be a need for both.
Acutally…Porsche is having a bit of a time with the newer Cayennes easily beating older 911s and especially Boxsters, in outright track speed (NOT drag speed, road course speed). Look at how many 911s the new Cayenne GT beats at Nurburgring…but I’m not complaining, having a truck that’s as fast as a sports car is pretty NOT boring!
Ask the folks in Chicago right now how they like their Tesla’s!!! 🙂
As for me, I haven’t really liked anything out of Detroit in at least 10 years(probably closer to 20)… Maybe why I continue to drive my 80’s turbo Mopar’s instead…. Oh, and the fact that I can actually work on them….
Do you really have a 1983 Scamp? Did you “turbo” it? I have thought about an engine swap for my slightly tired Scamp GT.
lumping together all Teslas? might as well lump all cars together, or how about all products of any kind….
hard to believe you think a Plaid S is boring – maybe you haven’t experienced 0-60 in 2 sec, or low 9’s 1/4 mile?
automotive excitement comes in many forms, embrace the variety!
^ This is fact.
From the outside, I can see how some may find the Tesla boring with their limited body options and color choices. From the driver’s seat however, any Dual Motor variant (or above) can out-accelerate over 90% of what’s on the road. With the Plaid, that goes to 99.999% (lots of YouTube videos demonstrating this). With the instant torque, that acceleration comes on immediately so you don’t have to reach autobahn speeds to enjoy it.
Hardly boring.
“I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car. ” – Yeah…two or three kids and their dog, and their kit, don’t fit well in the backseat of a 911, no matter how much some of us wish they would! This fits the other gripes about SUV’s (and maybe minivans, too); some cost less, some more, but they are often necessary (especially if one dislikes four-door pickups). Try towing a wake-boat with your Fairlady Z, or a 16-foot popup camper with your Miata. And some are certainly not boring – the Cayenne Turbo GT, for example.
I have not driven either, but based upon all tests I have ever read of them, I would have to agree on the boringness of the Mirage, and most any modern-day Nissan (Z aside). Wish they would bring back the OLD Sentra SE-R.
The most boring car I have driven in the past ten years was a probably a first-gen Nissan Leaf. Aside from the (then) novelty of an EV, it was a snooze.
I feel like people who buy Camrys will never think of a car as boring. Not because Camrys aren’t boring, but because their owners don’t care. I have a running bet with my wife to see who can be the first to spot a Camry speeding or even accelerating quickly. 😁
You forgot to define what “boring” means. Boring looks? Boring performance? Boring because the vehicle looks the same as others? I’m a Tesla Model 3 Dual Motor owner. Maybe a little boring looks wise but certainly not boring performance wise. Agree the new Tesla Highland should have been more than tweaked in styling.
With the way manufactures are designing and building cars today the job of coming up with a list of boring cars must have been the easiest assignment anyone has been asked to do.
So true, our last car purchase was a 2007 (not new, a dealer car) and that’s the newest vehicle we have. Never going to buy anything newer as that 2007 has a computer gremlin we can’t get rid of. Just imagining how much worse it is now and I can at least find the HHR. Can’t tell one new car from another now. Thank goodness for the summer and the classic car cruising or my brain would be dead from highway driving boredom…