Our Two Cents: The Most Boring New Cars on Sale Today
Here in Our Two Cents, we do our best to keep our opinions unfiltered and unvarnished. Be it cars, trucks, SUVs, or anything in between, every vehicle has pros and cons. Sometimes the cons are wholly irrelevant, if you can buy the vehicle for the right price. Heck, I’d gladly buy a Pontiac Aztek if the keys could be mine for a cool grand. That’s a lot of vehicle for the money!
But today’s question is more about brand-new vehicles, especially ones that are boring. Most of us can do better than “boring” if we’re looking for a brand-new ride, so let’s see what vehicles are not on our shopping lists.
All Teslas (except Cybertruck)
While my first experience with a Tesla back in 2013 was impressive, competition has definitely improved the breed. New EVs are like a Chevy Series H and Series F, while Tesla is still cranking out Ford Model Ts in a single color. Software updates are great, but styling changes like Project Highland should be 42 percent as radical as the Cybertruck … and happen far more often. — Sajeev Mehta
I like this question and I agree about Teslas. I remember thinking how legitimately cool they were (albeit somewhat plain) when they first came out. Now that you see them everywhere and the new ones look exactly like the old ones. Yawn! — Ben Woodworth
Tesla is the new Prius! Change my mind. — Greg Ingold
Luxury SUVs
For me it’s the luxury SUVs like the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, Bentley Bentayga, Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne, and Ferrari Purosangue. I am not the type of person with enough disposable income to justify these as a logical purchase, but the whole concept is just plain stupid. I don’t see the draw or need for a top dollar SUV when you can buy a sports car. — Greg Ingold
Jeep Wrangler
I’m going to go with the Jeep Wrangler! I get it, the shape is “iconic,” it has a lot of history and a rabid enthusiast base. But as an admitted non-Jeep person, I don’t know why anyone would choose a Jeep over, say, a Ford Bronco or Toyota 4Runner. Heck, I’d even take a Wilderness Edition Subaru over any Jeep, and that’s saying something, because most people would agree that Subarus are generally pretty boring.
A friend of mine asked me if I could fix the taillight on his Jeep. He’s had it for a couple years and I just assumed it was maybe a 2019 or newer. Nope, it was a 2007. Sorry, but if I can’t tell the difference between a new one and a 16-year old one, that equals boring to me. Then again, maybe It’s A Jeep Thing? — Ben Woodworth
Interesting choice! For me it’s the fact that the Wrangler is quite unique, until you see the same angry grille fifty times on the road and it makes you want to gnash your teeth and squint back at it. Yes, Angry Jeep, I get it: You’re unique, just like everyone else. — Sajeev Mehta
BMW iX
“This boring thing is 5800 pounds of ugly. And you only get five seats.” — John Mayhead
Nissan Sentra
My sister bought a new Sentra, no doubt influenced by fond memories of her cool 1990s Maxima, long gone, and I resisted my urge to say, “Why? Why did you buy a car that looks like an anonymous rental car that you would sadly drive away from the airport lot?” — Joe DeMatio
Ram 1500 Classic Tradesman
“The Classic Tradesman is basically a 14-year-old truck that is still being produced. Honestly, despite how boring it might be, we are better for it! A simple truck should exist in today’s market, and it’s a little sad we only have one option from the Big Three.” — Kyle Smith
I’ve been to Dodge Ram’s online configurator more times than I’d like to admit. I am always there to spec a Classic Tradesman with a Hemi V-8, a short final drive ratio, and whatever color suits me at the time, and I want to enjoy an approachable monthly payment at the end. It’s truly unfortunate we can’t do something like this anywhere else. — Sajeev Mehta
Any SUV
These are all cookie-cutter of the same form and function. SUVs are nothing special in design (with rare exception) and performance. This is especially true in the large SUV category, where they are big lumbering boxes with no driving dynamics. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why everyone wants them so badly. I guess capacity? How much stuff could you possibly need to bring with you? I raised twins. Never needed more than a Saturn Vue. — Todd Kraemer
Having four-plus kids leaves you with few good vehicle options. My wife and I joke about how we should have stopped at two (or at most, three) since now we’re stuck in Minivan or Big SUV Land. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good van. But I agree on full-size SUVs; they’re the worst to drive and live with on a daily basis. They don’t fit in a lot of garages, have horrible visibility, terrible fuel economy, etc. But if we could afford an old Wagoneer, ’90s Defender 110, or OG Land Rover Discovery, my wife would okay that purchase in a heartbeat! —Ben Woodworth
Mitsubishi Mirage
The Mirage has proven to be a pretty durable vehicle, but the driving experience? That’s as boring as it gets. — Steven Cole Smith
Jeep Compass
I’ll take strong exception to the opinions of our friends at Car and Driver and call the Compass one of the uglier designs Jeep has produced. What makes it boring? The excitement you expect from a Jeep badge. It’s the off-brand Stanley Cup of Jeeps: Too urban to be rugged like the Wrangler, it falls embarassingly short of the aspirational status enjoyed by its bigger sibling, the Grand Cherokee. Grand really is the right word: The non-Grand Compass is underwhelming in comparison, inside and out. The Renegade, while cheaper and smaller, is honest: It’s just the small, cheap Jeep. Or it was, anyway. — Grace Houghton
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The most boring new car? Sorry, I don’t know. I haven’t gone to look at new cars since 2007.
I have been watching the tv news and listening to local Detroit radio news shows. Alot of people with electric cars are complaining about their electric cars not going very far in this cold weather. And when they go to public chargers there is a long wait to charge yours and alot of the chargers are not working. There last words are “I am going to get me a gasoline car!”
The Weather Channel ran a piece on this very subject just about the time that you posted your comment.
And of course to hear that Hertz is selling off 20,000 EVs, to be replaced by gas-powered cars!!!
As an owner of Suburbans (and derivatives) for 30+ years they were around way before any of these SUV catagories. If I was only allowed one vehicle, it would still be a Sub..they can do it all. I’m used to 16 mpg anyway–pretty much my fleet average.
My Suburban is a 1949 survivor. It still has all three seats and is definitely a truck.
I used to look at Ram truck configurations when I was at Chrysler, FCA, back in 2015. The basic truck had a lot o color choices, one of which was “safety yellow”. I suggested at on town hall meeting that that implied that our other colors weren’t safe.
That was just a week before I retired, when I felt like i could say or do anything.
While I agree the Mirage is terrible choice for a car purchase, I had a CVT-equipped rental in the Bay area in 2018, and thrashed it around the hills surrounding Big Basin. I set the shifter to Low and threw it into every tight curve I could. The little tires squealed, it leaned like crazy, and the short wheelbase made it a blast to drive. I’d never own one, but it was a great drive.
I think what made it fun was that you were leaving on the edge of a near-death experience, not that the car was great handling and a joy to drive. 😆
Anything falling into the CUV box
Sorry, but Wranglers, for all their faults, are never boring. I’ve owned 6 from CJs and beyond that are always interesting to drive, if not always for the best reasons. But don’t call them boring until you can tell a 2007 from a 2015.
As a Jeep guy, I’m with Blip. But I kinda want to throw the Gladiator under the boring bus, because after all the hoopla a few years back, it’s basically just a Wrangler with a bed tacked on. I get it that Jeep design folks are not traditionally the most courageous stylers out there (and really concentrate on function over form), but still, it just seemed to me that they could have tried a few new cues…
They really should’ve made the Gladiator look like the actual Gladiator that the M715 was based on. Someone made a neat body kit converting one of the late-model Wranglers into that look. I’m sure it was cheaper to use the same Wrangler body panels for a “Gladiator” pick-up, though.
I disagree that the Wrangler is boring, especially with all the aftermarket support available for it. I’ve driven Jeeps for years and the new ones are still exciting for me, even if I enjoy the older ones more.
As a Wrangler guy and off-road enthusiast, the Branco and Toyota independent front suspension break off road, aftermarket companies are already making suspension reinforcement parts. Or you can spend $20k on portals. Give me the solid front axel.
Four door anything is boring, but real Jeeps, the ones with two doors, are deffinetly not boring.
If you think all 4-doors are boring, perhaps you should drive a 2014-2017 Chevrolet SS Sport Sedan. I did, and while it may look a bit boring, the drive is anything but!
I had a ’16 SS sedan 6MT. As a sedan, it was not boring. As a sport anything, it was boring. Did some Holden things to it, tracked it a bit (awful seats, had to buy 5-point harness). When a guy at the track asked about my ‘Chevy Cruze’, that was it. Only kept it a little over a year.
I drove a friends Audi RS6 Avant the other day…it was not boring. But, it’s not affordable for most folks, either!
Try a Panamera Turbo and see if 4-doors are still boring.
Angry eyes aside, the wrangler and its variants are one of the only “new” cars with strong accessory aftermarket and easily customizable. And with the exception of new bronco, what other vehicle lets you remove its doors and tops, or pull a drain plug and hose out the interior?
Can I ask why I’d want that?
Or why I’d rather that than say a K-5? Or vintage Bronco that still retains personality, and appreciates annually?
I’d drive neither a vintage K-5/Bronco, nor a vintage Jeep in all four seasons where I live. Costs for a new Jeep or a vintage toy aren’t that different (look at the sticker price on a new Wrangler if you want to be stunned), they’re fun, but I truly don’t get the headache or costs for what they are…
If it’s a Jeep thing, I really, truly, honestly don’t understand. Maybe I just need to be a teenage girl (the average demographic here.)
PS: I’d love a Scrambler in my garage, though. Understanding it’s purpose solely as a summer toy.
I agree with you BW. Despite any or all flaws, Boredom or excitement with these vehicles is Totally on the operator
Absolutely 100% agree. The last vehicle I thought would be on this list is a Wrangler. I would own 3 or 4 if I could, equipped differently for off-road, transportation, lifted, etc. And it was written by a guy that can’t tell a 2007 from a 2015? Ok, so I understand, you aren’t into Wranglers. But seriously, if you aren’t into a certain make, doesn’t mean it classifies as boring.
I agree on Tesla including the Cyber. The shock value has worn off.
As for the SUV. They are not all equal. The Audi Q5 s I am driving now in dynamic mode is like an AWD sports sedan.
To me Boring is anything Kia and Hyundai. Camry, Accord and anything else loved by Consumer Reports. .
While some versions of the Camry and Accord may be boring, I have a 2017 Accord coupe with the V6, and neither the styling nor the driving experience is boring.
This is totally true. A Cayenne is a total sleeper, and still has decent off road capability. Try driving one, off and on-road in the same session, NOT BORING. My favorite thing in the world is blasting a washed out, rutted, slimy dirt road in low gear (crawls like a Jeep, has locking center diff and opens the active sway bars), flipping the selector to N, disengaging the transfer case (while rolling), flipping the selector to D, hitting the sport button…and blasting down the pavement while it lowers itself 4 full inches…the Cayenne is by far the best performing off AND on road SUV, and is not fragile. Pure Porsche racing heritage. Buttons down and transports the family like TCP with the sport button off.
NOT boring. The Cayenne is the vehicle that makes all the others, especially every single other SUV out there, BORING. My Cayenne makes all Subarus really boring. Makes 4Runners BORING. Makes Jeeps SUPER BORING. Makes all other luxury SUVs BORING. It almost makes cheap sports cars boring…
I drive my Cayenne like a racecar, even when going slow…mostly the deep trail-braking into every turn…even with the family loaded. I have never ever driven my Cayenne anywhere, the most hated errands, middle of the night emergencies, and not appreciated the dynamics and exhilaration of simply driving the thing.
DrMindbender… I am right there with you on your comments on the Cayenne. These cars are probably the greatest SUV without question. The one thing I want to add to what you have said is… when you slap it in Sport Mode, even in normal mode, the dang car feels like you are driving a lifted 911.
I have sported around with 911’s in the Canyons in my 2013 “S” (last of the NA V8’s) and they have a hard time getting away from me, in a 4500 lb SUV. And when was the last time you saw a 911 pull a 7700 lb trailer. And when was the last time you could put 5 adults in a 911. I own 12 cars and the last car to leave my fleet with be my V8 400hp Cayenne, it does everything and more that I need a vehicle to do. It does it with style and grace. It is an absolute blast to drive, and there is nothing boring about it.
The greatest thing about these cars is that they depreciate big, which I love. My favorite thing is to buy a three or four year old $100K+ car for 30 cents on the dollar. Thank God there are rich people out there that buy these cool cars at full value and hand them off to me at a price where I can afford them. Thank you … thank you!!!!
Absolutely. I got my 08 Cayenne S for 19k. It is specced up to Turbo and beyond, including PDCC, sold for 90k new. Having PDCC and active air suspension is supreme. The Cayenne is faster on backroads (Cayenne ignores gravel and potholes and bumps where a car would scrape) and may be faster at Laguna Seca, than my 01 Boxster.
When I got it, the 3 passenger seats were essentially unused. The heat shielding in the engine compartment was shiny. The 2 previous owners didn’t use up anything, broke it in nicely (got any warranty work done), and handed it off with 86k miles on it. I’ve now put another 80k of the most NON boring miles ever, including thousands of miles of towing a 5200lb trailer, and hundreds of miles of dirt roads, mud, and sand dunes.
That’s great… I had an 06 Turbo S, the thing was a freak. So, my “S” is my second and I know I will have a third and hope I make it to a fourth.
Teslas are soooo boring and the Cybertruck is just plain ugly.
Agreed. useless, ugly and owned only by the wealthy for “the look”. They will never see an ounce of mud, ever. They appear to have been designed by a committee of kindergartners.
a committee of kindergartners required to use a pencil and ruler.
That video of the Cybertruck in the snow was not boring! hahahahaha!
Something should be said about the boring trend of battleship gray paint. Gray is the most boring color of the palette, so much so that in Michigan, the suicide rate rises every February due to daily gray skies being so depressing.
Gray blends nicely with wet pavement in the Winter darkness – sort of the opposite of Safety Yellow.
Perhaps due to “supply chain issues” they ran out of top coat and were forced to leave them in primer or entirely stop production?
Makes it look like the highways are being taken over by the US Navy.
Before you disparage all SUV’s, why not ask your older relatives? Except for the overly hiked up ones, they are easy enough to get in and out of, have improved visibility for the driver (and passengers if they care) and somewhat safer in an accident than low-slung sedans.
And they make it impossible for anyone driving a normal car behind them to see anything.
Waaaah, guess you also hate my F250.
Uh….yah.
Interesting comment about the ride height. My 93 year old father still drives on a very limited basis. He constantly tells me that his 2013 Toyota Prius C is the perfect car because it is very low and easy to get in and out. I personally think it is way too low, like a Camaro, but he thinks the low height is perfect.
That is the epitome of BORING.
I’m seeing frequent accidents in the city, even lower speeds, a CUV gets t-boned and flipped on its side, so safer? Not so sure about that.
I have also noticed that when I see an accident, any SUV involved is either on its side or on its roof
We run two Porsche Cayennes as daily drivers and they are great. One a 4.8S which I use to tow various classics around the place; plus my wifes Cayenne Hybrid which is great for battery powered “around town” use, plus on longer trips. Good luck with the Land Rover Disco !! – must be one of the most unreliable SUVs on the planet. If you want convincing talk to my farmer friend who just has an engine break its crank !!
For whatever reason, seeing a Cayenne towing makes my heart flutter. Maybe because of what is usually on the trailer I guess!!!! We do the same: one for off-road/towing, one for everything else.
They don’t build cars anymore (at least not for the general public) they just produce appliances and in the case of Tesla a toaster on wheels!!
Totally agree! Every vehicle (SUV) built today looks like every other one, Ugly and boring! I have zero interest in any of them!
Andrew I couldn’t have said it better. My newest vehicle is now a 1996 GMC Yukon SLT. I Does everything for me including burning as much petrol as any good vehicle should.
Most any EV can become a “toaster on wheels” when the Lithium battery pack catches fire…
Not all SUVs are boring – I plan to get one of these in the near future https://www.alfaromeousa.com/suvs/stelvio/quadrifoglio
Bad idea. Look up the brand’s reliability issues & high maintenance costs. Do some research first instead of just buying on looks alone.
…my eyes started to close halfway thru the list…
In terms of cars to look at? Pretty much everything seems boring/uninspired (except for the new Alfa 33 Stradale…that’s gorgeous), especially cars in the price ranges that normal people can kind of afford. The sad thing is that there’s no reason for this…the 2007-2019 Fiat 500 proved you could get something fun and attractive in an affordable package.
in my world I need a Dailey driver. snowy here in winter. I’m retired living on social security so no money coming in to buy anything, most months dipping savings. my mother in law passed and I got some money so I bought a new Toyota hylander. it will last till I die and be trouble free. I have 2 hot rods firebird formula 400 and a ls swapped55 bel air I built myself to drive in the summer and a 04 silverado SS my wife bought me for my birthday when it was new. a rocket ride.
I had a rental Camry and it was pretty boring. My 2011 4runner is pretty boring, BUT the repair bills over the years have been totally boring, they have been few and far between and thankfully minor. And knowing it can cruise the highway all day at 75 and get up some pretty gnarly 4×4 trails if needed is kind of cool. And great resale value is comforting.