The Concours d’Lemons at the 2018 Concours of America was a rousing success, if your definition of success means there were no serious injuries. Better still, the groundskeeping staff at the host site, The Inn at St. John’s in Plymouth, Michigan, didn’t kick anyone out.
The jokes, of course, are part of the spirit of Lemons. Everyone who brought a car out to display did so out of passion for their car. And some of those people went home with relatively-cheap awards and prize bags. We’ve listed all 15 (15? What are these, participation trophies?), with an larger gallery at the bottom of the article. The names have been omitted to protect bad judgement.
Worst of Show: 1949/50 Rat Rod/Hearse
Worst of Show, if you couldn't tell. Eric RoodNote the high-tech LED lights. Eric Rood
Those are bottle caps on the ceiling. Eric RoodThe best seat in this car is already taken. Eric Rood
Rust Belt American Junk (GM): 1987 Pontiac Fiero
Another Fiero best left alone. Eric RoodConfused? Look up the Gambler 500 in a search engine. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Rust Belt American Junk (Ford): 1951 Ford Shoebox
Winner, Rust Belt Americna Junk (Ford): 1951 Fod Shoebox Eric RoodNice plaid. No, really, we mean it. Eric Rood
Rust Belt American Junk (Other): 1972 Dodge Coronet Wagon
The triangle badge on the Dodge Coronet is so other Dodges can pretend it's not one of them. Eric RoodGenuine Smurf-hide interior. Eric RoodWe've run out of caption ideas. This is a wagon. Eric RoodThe way-back seat, land of mischief and banishment. Eric Rood
Rueful Britannia: 1973 Triumph Stag
Winner, Rueful Britannia: 1973 Triumph Stag Eric RoodThe Bluetooth speaker as a stereo is a sure sign of Lemons cred. Eric Rood
Soul Sucking Japanese Appliance: 1988 Suzuki Samurai
Winner, Soul Sucking Japanese Appliance: 1988 Suzuki Samurai Eric RoodCB Radio is handy for calling a tow. Eric Rood
Unmitigated Gaul: 1992 Puegeot 505 DL Wagon
The Peugeot won the French category by being the only French car to show up. True excellence! Eric RoodAppropriate vanity plate. Eric Rood
Swedish Meatballs: 1994 Saab Convertible
Winner, Swedish Meatballs: 1994 Saab 900 S convertible Eric RoodIt's like active suspension, but for your engine parts and not good. Eric RoodSaab 900 convertible interior. Eric RoodThe power antenna doesn't retract. Lemons Judges look favorbly on this sort of thing. Eric Rood
Der SelfSatisifiedKrautenWagon: 1966 VW Beetle
Winner, Der SelfSatisifiedKrautenWagon: 1966 Volkswagen Beetle Eric Rood
Kommunist Kar: 1976 Lada 2101
It's a Lada! Hagerty / Mike Austin1976 Lada 2102 interior Hagerty / Mike AustinAllegedly the Construction Orange spray paint on this Lada was a perfect match to the original hue. Hagerty / Mike AustinThe Lada has a speedometer, and not much else. Eric Rood
Sight for Sour Eyes: 1997 Alfa Spider
90's style meets classic Alfa Romeo reliability Eric RoodTwin Spark does not mean redundancy, in case you were wondering. Eric Rood
Chronic Dick Teague Syndrome: 1982 AMC Concord Wagon
Winner, Chronic Dick Teague Syndrome: 1982 AMC Concord Wagon Eric Rood
Best Back Seat: 1992 Ford F250
So big we couldn't even fit it in the photo frame. Eric Rood
Driving on a Prayer: 1919 Franklin 9A
The Franklin's owners look like normal people, which makes it hard to explain why they drove up from Florida and are headed straight to Pebble Beach after this event. Eric RoodThe Franklin's roof is best described as "mostly waterproof." Eric RoodThis is what they call "preservation class" at real car shows. Eric RoodSix working cylinders. Eric Rood
Slightly Better than a Go Kart: 1991 Honda Beat
Awarded for being slightly better than a go kart Eric RoodFactory zebra-stripe seats excel at hiding stains. Eric Rood
A bunch of other stuff
This Volkwagen Type 2 single-cab has been with the same owner for 25 years. Hagerty / Mike Austin
The Volkswagen Rabbit pickup is known as the Caddy in other markets, possibly the only way this cute ute could be confused with a Cadillac. Hagerty / Mike Austin
It's a Lada! Hagerty / Mike Austin
1976 Lada 2102 interior Hagerty / Mike Austin
We're not sure which is worth more: This Nissan Laurel or its majestic Lorinser monoblock wheels. Hagerty / Mike Austin
1992 Peugeot 505 DL Wagon. Note the baguette and cheese bribe for the judge, left out in the sun for an authentic French food poisoning experience. Hagerty / Mike Austin
The diminutive Honda Beat (left) almost fits inside the grand Toyota Century (right). Hagerty / Mike Austin
Edsel doesn't deserve its bad reputation, but this specific car might. Hagerty / Mike Austin
A 1988 Suzuki Samurai lifted, smothered, and covered. Hagerty / Mike Austin
This Edsel wagon's good condition was no doubt due to years spent in hiding. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Many cars at the Concours d'Lemons are shown with the hood up. Not to showcase the engine, mind you, but because something in the engine bay is actually in need of repairs. Hagerty / Mike Austin
They say the sun never sets on the British Empire, but "they" have never seen a Triumph Stag. Hagerty / Mike Austin
This promotional catalog predicted the fate of many Dodge Caravans: A glorified tent sinking into the back yard. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Possibly the best Barn Find car of the entire show. That's not saying much. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Inside the Caravan. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Corvairs were scattered throughout the field, ready to pounce on unwary observers. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Worst of Show: 1949/50 Rad Rod/Hearse Hagerty / Mike Austin
Buick Reatta with cracked windshield but, incredibly, working CRT touchscreen inside Hagerty / Mike Austin
Rumor has it the deceased passed shortly after drinking whatever is in that keg on the side of the car. Hagerty / Mike Austin
"Historical" in this case means old. Hagerty / Mike Austin
The plethora of gauges in the Cosworth Vega guarantees at least some will work. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Suspiciously rust-free Swedes. Hagerty / Mike Austin
The joke about the Cosworth Vega, which of course we'll repeat, is "a good engine in search of a better car." Hagerty / Mike Austin
Jim Eby drove his 1919 Franklin 9A (right) up from Florida just to be parked next this Dodge Coronet Wagon Hagerty / Mike Austin
Yes, even SUVs and trucks can partake in the Lemons festivities Hagerty / Mike Austin
Last year an entire Cosworth Vega club showed up. This year, only two. Attrition? Hagerty / Mike Austin
Look close, yes, it's a Pontiac Fiero Hagerty / Mike Austin
More Chevy Corvairs Hagerty / Mike Austin
Two Buick Roadmaster Wagons in this condition is a rare sight in Michigan, as they are usually consumed by rust. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Did we mention the numerous good-natured and friendly Corvair owners that showed up to the concours? Hagerty / Mike Austin
A last-minute polish to impress the Concours d'Lemons judges Hagerty / Mike Austin
All-wheel-drive means twice the number of driveshafts to potentially replace. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Steering wheel buttons on the Pontiac STE. Hagerty / Mike Austin
Lucky winners receive these framed awards, which can also be repurposed to hold family photos. Hagerty / Mike Austin
You could make one these trophies yourself, but why? Hagerty / Mike Austin
Mustang in the classic front-window-down rear-window-up configuration. Hagerty / Mike Austin
As the Concours d'Lemons takes place off road, this was a good choice of equipment. Eric Rood
Proof that this Lada moves under its own power. Eric Rood
Stolen valor? Hagerty / Mike Austin
Allegedly the Construction Orange spray paint on this Lada was a perfect match to the original hue. Hagerty / Mike Austin
